One day a giant egg fell onto the floor. The builders went to see what it was so they tried to rip it open. So they couldn’t rip it open, then they went to get some of their tools to open the egg. So they got their tools and they were trying to open the egg then they were going to have their lunch. Finally they opened the egg then they just found out that it was a cream egg. So when they found out it was cream egg they all said let’s eat it so they ate it all.
3 Comments
Melissa
12/6/2014 06:53:19 pm
It is really good Declan because you have full stops and capital letters. You could have used the word egg slightly less.
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Stephanie (Team 100WC)
15/6/2014 07:06:18 am
This is a really good piece Declan. Be careful about using the same words the whole time. There are a number of words that you have used a lot in this piece. For your next piece read over it and if you have used a word more than two times try to use a different word instead.
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Matthew
2/7/2014 07:38:33 pm
This is a really good story Declan.
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AuthorHello! We are Class 4 at Sunnybrow Primary School in County Durham. We are a class of Y5/6 children who want to broaden our horizons and show the world what we have to offer. We are using this blog to explore web design, write creatively and display our work and achievements. Please leave a comment on our posts. Categories
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